Music theory is something to be EXCITED about, not scared of.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Blargh
I think my entire theory class collectively feels like the midterm could have gone better.
I spent most of last night beating myself up because my mind couldn't categorize all the sonata theme groups from two listenings, and so I probably got most of the section wrong, and probably got, at best, a B on the exam.
I don't consider a B good enough. Actually, I don't even consider a B+ good enough. Anything less than 90, in anything, and I'm furious at myself. While it's probably a good thing that I have high goals and high standards, there really does come a point when I need to step back, and reflect. And points when I need to just forgive myself, and move on.
It's not like I didn't study, and it's not like I haven't done the work (I have an 85% average on the homework). Since this was the midterm, not the final, it's not like there won't be other chances to try harder, learn more, and do better.
Also, 'tis the season of crunch-time, and I have an essay on Wordsworth to hammer out over the next six hours, a Global History midterm next week which I need to rock the socks off of, and a whole bunch of German words/grammar concepts to memorize. I don't have *time* to do anything other than forgive myself, and move on to the next GPA-determining factor.
Deep breath, another drink of coffee, and off to German class.
I spent most of last night beating myself up because my mind couldn't categorize all the sonata theme groups from two listenings, and so I probably got most of the section wrong, and probably got, at best, a B on the exam.
I don't consider a B good enough. Actually, I don't even consider a B+ good enough. Anything less than 90, in anything, and I'm furious at myself. While it's probably a good thing that I have high goals and high standards, there really does come a point when I need to step back, and reflect. And points when I need to just forgive myself, and move on.
It's not like I didn't study, and it's not like I haven't done the work (I have an 85% average on the homework). Since this was the midterm, not the final, it's not like there won't be other chances to try harder, learn more, and do better.
Also, 'tis the season of crunch-time, and I have an essay on Wordsworth to hammer out over the next six hours, a Global History midterm next week which I need to rock the socks off of, and a whole bunch of German words/grammar concepts to memorize. I don't have *time* to do anything other than forgive myself, and move on to the next GPA-determining factor.
Deep breath, another drink of coffee, and off to German class.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
A Moment of Insight
As a child, I was a really, really intense bookworm. Classics adapted for children, the Babysitter's Club, fairy tales, fantasy series...there's about five boxes in my family's basement packed full of children's literature. I didn't know, as I read away, that I was doing something that would alter the course of my life, and which, blessedly, would make mandatory high school/university English courses very, very easy. I just loved stories, and the worlds they created.
As a result of fifteen years of voracious reading, I can take a book apart; analyze language and characters and plots with roughly the same level of comfort I feel when talking with my friends about what we did last weekend. But it wasn't always easy - I was one of the last kids in my Grade 1 class to start reading, and I was nine before I could structure a solid age-appropriate essay (this does seem an appropriate moment to thank my mother, ten years later, for forcing me to write an essay a week one summer. I may have hated it then, but good Lord, do I ever love her for it now!).
I'm realizing, as I study and prepare for my Theory 2133 midterm, that music is the same way. I love music for the stories it tells, the worlds it can create. When I started learning to play the piano at age 16, I didn't know I was doing something that would change my life - I just loved classical music, and what it did for me - much like, as a child, I loved being read to and told stories before I learned to read.
But music, like books, is formed of a language. Learning that language is an ongoing, at times almost overwhelming challenge for me, and, as with reading, I did come to it a little later in life than most of my peers. But this is that moment, that breakthrough, where I'm starting to understand (continuing my reading metaphor) sentences and patterns instead of individual words. I'm on the cusp of musical literacy, where I can analyze for myself instead of reading about analysis.
So, yes: right now, it's challenging. There's times when I feel stupid for all I don't know, times when I want to curl up and cry and give up on it. But, like my little six-year-old self, there's also moments when I see things I recognize; when I realize that there's this massive, exciting (because, yes, I think music theory is exciting!) world opening up for me.
And fifteen years from now? I'm willing to bet I'll be talking about themes and movements and chords the same way I can talk about a book today.
So, for all my friends who are also panicking about theory: courage! We can all read the text in our textbooks. In time the scores will come just as easy.
As a result of fifteen years of voracious reading, I can take a book apart; analyze language and characters and plots with roughly the same level of comfort I feel when talking with my friends about what we did last weekend. But it wasn't always easy - I was one of the last kids in my Grade 1 class to start reading, and I was nine before I could structure a solid age-appropriate essay (this does seem an appropriate moment to thank my mother, ten years later, for forcing me to write an essay a week one summer. I may have hated it then, but good Lord, do I ever love her for it now!).
I'm realizing, as I study and prepare for my Theory 2133 midterm, that music is the same way. I love music for the stories it tells, the worlds it can create. When I started learning to play the piano at age 16, I didn't know I was doing something that would change my life - I just loved classical music, and what it did for me - much like, as a child, I loved being read to and told stories before I learned to read.
But music, like books, is formed of a language. Learning that language is an ongoing, at times almost overwhelming challenge for me, and, as with reading, I did come to it a little later in life than most of my peers. But this is that moment, that breakthrough, where I'm starting to understand (continuing my reading metaphor) sentences and patterns instead of individual words. I'm on the cusp of musical literacy, where I can analyze for myself instead of reading about analysis.
So, yes: right now, it's challenging. There's times when I feel stupid for all I don't know, times when I want to curl up and cry and give up on it. But, like my little six-year-old self, there's also moments when I see things I recognize; when I realize that there's this massive, exciting (because, yes, I think music theory is exciting!) world opening up for me.
And fifteen years from now? I'm willing to bet I'll be talking about themes and movements and chords the same way I can talk about a book today.
So, for all my friends who are also panicking about theory: courage! We can all read the text in our textbooks. In time the scores will come just as easy.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Persevere
Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to accomplish enough as a musician and a music scholar.
When I started studying music, I knew two major key signatures, and didn't know that diminished and augmented chords existed. I didn't know what a metronome was. I didn't know the abilities to dictate and sight-sing existed, let alone that some people can hear a piece of music once and remember it for the rest of their lives. I'd never heard an opera, and I didn't know what an oratorio (my now-central research focus) was. I could barely read a piano score. I didn't know that people wrote books about music theory and history. I didn't know what musicology meant.
I've come a long way in two years. When I look at all I've learned, my perspective changes. I want, every day, to be and do better. That's at the heart of good musicianship and scholarship - if I can let it guide me, but don't let it eat me alive! I'll be in school for at least ten more years. How much more could I learn in that time?
How much could I learn in a lifetime?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
When the Walls Spin, It`s Time to Go
My day in review:
9AM-10AM: Drive to Kentville with one of my friends, attempting to make a credit card payment (except the banks listed hours on their website and actual hours differ, so it didn't happen), whilst helping my friend mentally organize a paper on Wagner's Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg and Hitler's politics/dreams for Germany. Which is a little much before noon, I should add. Quickly obtain coffee, and sprint to the BAC to go to a thesis writing workshop.
10AM-11:30 AM: Attend thesis writing workshop. Get some new ideas of the process and what it will look like, get inspired, then go search through the stacks, etc.
11:30-12:30: Concert credit!
12:30-1:30: More library time and organization of notes/coursework/etc.
1:30-3:00: Analysis of Haydn and Beethoven in theory class, followed by a quiz on sonata form which I
actually think went well!! Start organizing a twenty-hour study plan for the midterm next week.
3:00-4:30: Pull a Hermoine in English class (all but jumping out of the chair in excitement to answer a question, that is) when class discussion turned to active vs. passive verbs and sentence construction.
4:30-6:15: Go home, make dinner, clean the kitchen.
6:15-7:30: Even *more* time in the library on a different independent research project.
7:30-9:15: Go to a practice room. Practice sight-singing in solfege, technique, and repertoire. Realize that the walls are spinning because I'm so overtired/dehydrated/hungry.
When the walls start spinning? It's time to go home.
9AM-10AM: Drive to Kentville with one of my friends, attempting to make a credit card payment (except the banks listed hours on their website and actual hours differ, so it didn't happen), whilst helping my friend mentally organize a paper on Wagner's Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg and Hitler's politics/dreams for Germany. Which is a little much before noon, I should add. Quickly obtain coffee, and sprint to the BAC to go to a thesis writing workshop.
10AM-11:30 AM: Attend thesis writing workshop. Get some new ideas of the process and what it will look like, get inspired, then go search through the stacks, etc.
11:30-12:30: Concert credit!
12:30-1:30: More library time and organization of notes/coursework/etc.
1:30-3:00: Analysis of Haydn and Beethoven in theory class, followed by a quiz on sonata form which I
actually think went well!! Start organizing a twenty-hour study plan for the midterm next week.
3:00-4:30: Pull a Hermoine in English class (all but jumping out of the chair in excitement to answer a question, that is) when class discussion turned to active vs. passive verbs and sentence construction.
4:30-6:15: Go home, make dinner, clean the kitchen.
6:15-7:30: Even *more* time in the library on a different independent research project.
7:30-9:15: Go to a practice room. Practice sight-singing in solfege, technique, and repertoire. Realize that the walls are spinning because I'm so overtired/dehydrated/hungry.
When the walls start spinning? It's time to go home.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Happy October
It's a misty, damp, rainy day in the Valley. The air is crisp, the leaves are falling, and it's one of those days when it just feels so amazing to be inside with pumpkin chai tea, a good book, and some choral music to memorize.
It's October, the month of Thanksgiving Day. As such, I've been thinking about some of my attitudes towards life. I'd say I'm a fairly good person; I try really hard to do right by the world and the people around me. But, like the rest of the human race, I have my flaws. Two of them, I'm finding, go hand in hand: I spend a lot of my thoughts and energy on the past and future, instead of enjoying the present moment. And I waste a lot of my imagination on worrying.
When push comes to shove, I think both of these things come down to a lack of gratitude; to the fact that sometimes I forget to be thankful to God/the universe/call it what you will for all the good, beautiful things that fill my life. "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad." Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. THIS day; THIS moment!
When I look at each day, live in the moment as it comes, how could I not be grateful? I live in a nice apartment, in a beautiful part of the world., with awesome roommates who make me laugh and encourage me musically. I have a cupboard full of food I chose, a bureau full of clothes I like, and a pile of books I bought as a treat. I'm capable of reading for pleasure and for information. I get to spend most of my moments these days learning about music from incredible teachers, with a bunch of people who all love music as much as I do, and who believe in what I'm trying to accomplish. Who all genuinely seem to want to help me get there. Basically, it's my job right now to become the best musician and music scholar I'm capable of becoming. I don't think I could ask for something more amazing.
All that taken into consideration, what could I possibly have to worry about? How could I be anything BUT excited about the present moment?
I'm making it my personal mission to become a more grateful person this month. As part of that, every day in October, I'm going to post a picture on FaceBook of something I'm grateful for. You can find the album here.
Happy October, everyone!
It's October, the month of Thanksgiving Day. As such, I've been thinking about some of my attitudes towards life. I'd say I'm a fairly good person; I try really hard to do right by the world and the people around me. But, like the rest of the human race, I have my flaws. Two of them, I'm finding, go hand in hand: I spend a lot of my thoughts and energy on the past and future, instead of enjoying the present moment. And I waste a lot of my imagination on worrying.
When push comes to shove, I think both of these things come down to a lack of gratitude; to the fact that sometimes I forget to be thankful to God/the universe/call it what you will for all the good, beautiful things that fill my life. "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad." Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. THIS day; THIS moment!
When I look at each day, live in the moment as it comes, how could I not be grateful? I live in a nice apartment, in a beautiful part of the world., with awesome roommates who make me laugh and encourage me musically. I have a cupboard full of food I chose, a bureau full of clothes I like, and a pile of books I bought as a treat. I'm capable of reading for pleasure and for information. I get to spend most of my moments these days learning about music from incredible teachers, with a bunch of people who all love music as much as I do, and who believe in what I'm trying to accomplish. Who all genuinely seem to want to help me get there. Basically, it's my job right now to become the best musician and music scholar I'm capable of becoming. I don't think I could ask for something more amazing.
All that taken into consideration, what could I possibly have to worry about? How could I be anything BUT excited about the present moment?
I'm making it my personal mission to become a more grateful person this month. As part of that, every day in October, I'm going to post a picture on FaceBook of something I'm grateful for. You can find the album here.
Happy October, everyone!
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